Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Is it penis luge time yet?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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