do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize