Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I FOUND THE LEGS
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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