i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize