Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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