This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
