The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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