my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
