We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
