Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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