Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
