no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
