remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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