just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
