we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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