Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
