I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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