Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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