Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
