Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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