she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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