I need help removing her.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
