Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
