Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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