I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
