There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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