I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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