I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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