i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
