spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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