She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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