Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
A+ Viking dick
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
