Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My feet surprised me
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
