Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
