a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
