You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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