do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I smell like Dick and happiness
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
