Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
