I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
