Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
