No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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