Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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