I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
