Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
