Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize