ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
