i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
