im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
