If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
