I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
