New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize