Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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