You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
