I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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